Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Are we still banned from the library?
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
