I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
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