remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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