Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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