Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
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