guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
It's just like the Real World with babies
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
