when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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