Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Randomize
