Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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