i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize