he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
