see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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