Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
