Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
