i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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