is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
