But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Life is so much better after having sex.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize