Whoa Z and x make the same sound
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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