And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
