break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
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