she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
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