See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Found the puke drawer
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
