hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
