I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Randomize
