we have officially lost it.
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
