Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I need to calm my uterus...
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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