So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Randomize
