I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Randomize
