I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize