If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
