Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
