My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
