Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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