At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
