9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
