You work out of a Hotel?
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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