Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
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