I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
