Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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