I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
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