He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Fuck appropriateness.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
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