discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
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