Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
