yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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