hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
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