God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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