It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Dear god my vagina.
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