I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
