We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
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