Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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