I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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