Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Randomize
