I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
