At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
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