So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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