He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
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