My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
