Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I am one with the molecules
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Randomize
