Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I'm going to jail i love you
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize
