did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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