bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
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He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
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Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
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