I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
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