??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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