i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
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Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
She's not a foreskin expert like you
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Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
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