Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Randomize