last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
